Blog Post 1 - Introduction

So, here we are. We’re bound by a freak occurrence that you’d never have thought possible for yourself. After all, these kinds of things only happen to idiots, or those that are physically or mentally unhealthy! And that’s not us, right? So, how’d this life-changing catastrophe happen? Did I make a mistake along the way, or is this fate catching up to me? Penance of some sorts? I can’t possibly deserve this! Nobody does! The Internet tells me that worldwide, there are millions out there just like us, but I’m guessing that we are all different, depending on our injuries, backgrounds, beliefs and futures. What does the future hold for me now? Is it within, or outside of my control? Just how much work are you and I willing to put in to right this ship of life that now feels like it’s on the verge of sinking?

This is a blog written, edited and created by a man named Will, survivor of a traumatic brain injury sustained in June 2022. I’m writing this as an outlet for my own thoughts, emotions, and yearning to connect and hopefully help other brain injury survivors like me. I’ve been writing a book with a similar idea, but it’s on page 60+, and I wanted to share my writing with all of you well before I eventually finish and publish that. I also want this blog to be a space where you can read, relate and express how you’re feeling about your own brain injury, should you feel comfortable doing so. If you’re not brain injured, thanks for stopping by, reading, and I hope that you learned something insightful about all of us! You never really know what everyone around you is going through, but I hope that this blog teaches you more about what it’s like to suffer and survive a brain injury. I’m by no means seeking your empathy, but mostly hoping to create and spread awareness and discussion, as I had no idea what a brain injury was or meant until I was unlucky enough to have one of my own. Whoops!

Only you know how much you’ve lost at this point. Is there anything left? It sure doesn’t feel like it, does it? Trust me, as sad as this is to type, there’s always a new bottom below the next one you last hit. One of the hardest parts I dealt with while recovering from a brain injury was the disconnect between my brain and heart. I experienced this most when I struggled to think about whether an emotion or belief that I was feeling originated from my brain or heart. Did my brain still know how to process information and feelings that were being sent to it from my heart? In that case, could I trust my heart? Or, had I also injured that vital relationship between my heart and brain? Nobody ever addressed that subject with me besides the psychologist therapist that I spoke with weekly, and I found his insight absolutely critical. Do you, or have you, sought out a therapist’s services? I can’t recommend it more, considering how traumatic and difficult everything was in the years that followed my injury. What’s the most difficult change facing you that you haven’t overcome yet? Try journaling about it and writing down every challenge that you come across and need to work on or improve. That way, you can return to these notes to inspire you, track your progress, and remind yourself why you’re doing all of this every day. Journaling can be done in a notebook, pad of paper, or a journaling app on your smartphone. The most important thing that you can do is place it somewhere that you won’t forget to do it every day, such as by your bed or on a table that you frequently use, or even better, set yourself a reminder or alarm that’ll remind you to do it. Making a simple note like this every day will help you to chart and track your ongoing difficulties, release any built-up emotions, and serve as a personal reminder of how far you’ve come, which is vital whenever motivation starts to fade, which isn’t your fault. Putting in this amount of effort, sticking to a back-breaking schedule and jumping around from place to place will be mentally and physically exhausting. So, don’t be surprised when you find yourself constantly checking your gas tank and finding that it’s nearly empty, even when you feel inspired, or that you’ve reached the next level in your recovery. So, what’s the best way to refuel, and is it different for everyone? Yes, of course it is! I always found that the best way of motivating and pushing myself even further was to communicate with others like me, brain injured individuals that had all been there and done that. This could be accomplished at therapy, or in brain injury support groups, of which I regularly participated in, as I found that listening to and speaking with others like me about a specific topic about brain injuries or the struggles associated with them with a group moderator present immensely helped my processing of what had, or still would happen to me, and how I could stay one step ahead of myself, as there seemed to always be something unexpected and unforgiving around the corner. Therefore, you’ll have to prepare yourself for how defeating and lethargic any kind of setback can be, especially as you feel like you’ve been through and accomplished so much already. So, find something that works best for you and run with it! What works for someone else in your situation might not work the same for you, as defeating as that can feel. I just hope that reading things like this and taking it to heart will help. Please take notes and try your best to remember and make note of the things that stand out most to you. This is best accomplished by reviewing your daily notes, which ideally should  feature highlights of your recovery and notable insight that you have from reading things like this blog, or thinking about your own injury and ongoing recovery in new and different ways. This journey that you’re now on is long, tenuous and even treacherous, but you must remind yourself that you have what it takes, and that it’s worth living for, in order to summon the courage and will to tackle and overcome anything challenging that life throws your way during this part of it. It sure is quite the detour, isn’t it?

Are there any other lacking connections in your body that you now feel after your brain injury, similar to the brain and heart? Perhaps you feel a disconnect with your past self, which is normal and to be expected. Do you often find yourself missing them? Now, the best thing that you can start working on is accepting that you had a brain injury, and that you now must live with the side effects and trauma resulting from that. A major part of this is letting go of that past version of yourself, as they’re now likely gone forever. Accepting that cruel fact’s going to be the most difficult part of the tiresome journey ahead of you. Still, it’s crucial to find it within yourself to muster up the courage, patience and wisdom necessary to accept that whatever happened to you did happen, is irreversible, and changed the path of your life for good. Dreams and aspirations that you had before will need to be shifted, modified and forgotten, as your abilities and surroundings have likely changed.

Thinking of and planning new goals can be exciting though, even as bleak as that sounds! Will they be oriented around recovery or reshaping your future? After all, this brain injury can be considered as a second chance at life that most don’t get or even try to put upon themselves to pursue! Imagine that perspective on it! This is rebirth is a solid chance to do it all over again, even though you’re still the same age, with the same friends, family and possessions. What will, or can you, do better or different this time around? Depending on your cognition, you may be able to remember what you should and shouldn’t do. Life has a vast series of pitfalls, and this time, you can ensure that you don’t fall into the same ones!

So, what other advice, as a brain injury survivor myself, can I provide about what to expect? Well, this is only my first blog post about this, so please stay tuned and expect plenty more from me in the future about specific topics!

In a way, most of it depends on the extent of your limitations that you’re now facing as a result of your injury. Me? I have a laundry list of disabilities, including physical ones like the inability to walk, difficulty standing up, sitting without slumping over, swallowing food and drink, a communication disability, and visual neglect/deficit/inattention in my left eye, and hemiplegia/hemiparesis on the left side of my body. The reason that the left side of my body was so affected is that my brain injury happened when I hit the right side of my head against the street when I lost my balance and fell off of my electric motorized scooter. The various lobes of my brain that I damaged doing so impacted different parts and abilities of my body that I had grown so used to utilizing in a normal fashion, just like every able-bodied person out there.

I had always dismissed the lack of function on my affected left side as meaningless, as I was naturally a righty, and didn’t remember using my left arm, hand or leg for much before my brain injury. Afterwards, my various physical and occupational therapists were quick to refute this, because it was as goofy as it sounded!

All in all, how are your abilities now compared to what they once were before your own injury?

Can you think of this off the top of your head, or do you need some paper to write this down for comparison?

Speaking of therapists, what kind of therapy do you take now, or require to regain any physical or mental skills that you’ve lost since your brain injury? Did therapy start in the hospital like it did for me? For over three years after my injury, I participated in physical, occupational, speech, and psychological therapy to regain some semblance of who and what I wanted to be. My main driving factor was standing up from my wheelchair and walking away from it for the last time, as I now required it to get around, besides my daily use of a walker, which I was taught to properly use by various physical therapists over the years after my injury.